Mongolian nomads spend harsh winters with their horses believing deeply in the need to reassure the drove with conversation and company. Animals sense our spirit in tone and gesture that time invested cultivating relationships through conversation earns trust—free-will training has ancient roots in many cultures, expressed in modern times as horse whispering founded on a bond of trust.
‘A tale of two horses: a passion for free will teaching by Kathie Gregory (Hubble & Hattie, 2016), is part equine training guide, part memoir, and part meditation on the power of conversation with our animal kin. Kathie’s keen observations impart old wisdom in a new light, revealing how to create a true partnership with your horse.
Talking Horse with Kathie Gregory: sharing some of the secrets behind free-will training.
Many different techniques are available to us when working behaviourally with animals, and one of the less well-known—although most important—is conversation.
Now, I don’t mean the casual chit-chat that many of us engage in when working around our horse: I mean an actual conversation with him. In order to get the best out of our relationship, be he a companion, or an important part of how we earn our living, we need to understand each other, and we can help achieve this by having a proper, two-sided conversation, in which both of us participate.
All of us are ‘saying’ something all of the time: body language, verbalisation, action, and inaction—it’s all communication. We may be aware of this, but we don’t always take notice of it when busy doing whatever we are doing; effectively ignoring our horse. That’s not a conversation.
A conversation is when we listen and are listened to, adjusting and responding appropriately for how the talk is going. In this way, we can really get to know each other – who we are, how we act—and build trust and affection for each other. And we will see the true spirit of our horse, strengthening our relationship and enabling us to rely on him, as we come to know how he will act.
Using well known word association techniques, I have taught my two ex-racers, Charlie and Star, many words and phrases, which enable me to start a conversation with them. At the beginning of this process, they only know the words and phrases I’ve taught them, so it does not become a true conversation until they learn how to participate. This can be the most challenging part to developing the art of conversation – how do I teach them to participate?
Okay: let’s take grooming as an example.
Charlie and Star know that the brush is used to groom them, so every time I get out the brush, I tell them what I’m doing. As I brush them I pair this activity with the words “Let’s give you a brush,” and now they associate these words with being brushed. The actual conversation begins with me showing Charlie the brush, and asking if he’d like me to brush him. I wait to see what Charlie does. Will he understand? What response will he give me? How do I interpret it?
Charlie simply stands there: he doesn’t yet understand what he should do. So I help him. I show him the brush, repeat, “Do you want a brush?” gently brush him, then stop. I only have to repeat this three or four times before he gives me a response. His head goes up. This means no, Charlie does not want a brush. “Fair enough,” I say, “I’ll go and see Star, then.”
Star lowers her head and gives a little sigh. She likes being brushed.
Going back to Charlie, I ask the question again, and this time he only looks at the brush, then goes back to eating. This I take as my cue that he doesn’t mind, so I brush him a little, and tell him he’s a clever boy. When I stop, he turns his head to me and touches the brush, indicating he’d like me to brush him a bit more. Our conversation skills are developing!
I use this approach for many things, and, as with learning anything new, it can be difficult to start with. Sometimes I interpret my horses’ body language incorrectly, but, as with a misunderstanding when talking to a friend, this is easily resolved as my horse tells me I’ve got it wrong; that wasn’t what he meant! Adjusting and changing, listening and responding, are all part of developing the conversation, enabling good communication on an equal footing.
The obvious benefits to this technique include an increased understanding between us and our horse, which, in turn, allows for increased reliability and safety. In addition, it means we can work to eliminate issues by teaching our horse to overcome them himself, of his own free will.
We can apply this strategy to other situations and contexts, which became evident to me when Star injured her eye. Star is a very loving girl now, but at the time of the injury, she did not much like being handled, and needed her own space. We were still developing our relationship at that point, and my understanding of the situation was that we had a fair way to go before she truly trusted me. However, the work I’d put into helping her feel self-confident, content and safe, and the understanding that she could rely on me to always be nice to her, came together on that day. I honestly had no idea of the depth of trust Star already had in me, until then, when she walked up to me and pushed her head into my chest. This was completely out of character for Star, who did not usually seek affection. As it turned out, affection was not what she was seeking, but rather she was starting a conversation to tell me she had hurt her eye. Despite being in severe pain, Star had the courage and necessary trust to come to me for help: knowing I would look after her and make her better. An excellent example of an equal relationship based on free will teaching.
About the Author: Kathie Gregory is a qualified animal behaviourist and trainer, who has worked in the industry since 2001. Passionate about raising standards and awareness in how we teach and work with animals, she encourages everyone to use the best methods available. Visit her blog at: http://ataleoftwohorses.com
